I didn't hear Gary Vaynerchuck say that. Emman mentioned it last night when we were sorting out the options of what I could be doing for the next five years. I can spin these as the best of times or as the worst of times but the truth is decidedly in a quantum state of both: I raise a toast to good health, loving relations and fulfilling work. Also, I am constantly burnt-out, anxious, disappointed, and self-conscious about my thinning hair, excess body fat, and perfectly normal height.
It's usually fine until it's not - my desire to be better transforming into a ritualized self-loathing. Emman, Harvey, and I had been hammering out how to navigate this dark place because that was where I found myself again. To be fair, good plans have come from minor breakdowns before and I think that's the case right now. I'm writing this because I probably should be writing more often. I'm writing more often because I probably should stop obsessing over what people would think if I did and it wasn't perfect.
If my obsession had been about crafting - writing and rewriting to professional polish until I end up having written nothing at all - then maybe it was best that I didn't craft. The point right now is to write again, routinely, with intent and discipline. It's more finger training than creative exercise. It's Documentation more than Creation.
Maybe I'll sound more lucid when I get used to this. I'll let you know as soon as it happens.
All my best,
Martholemy
P.S. I figured this thing should have some images on them somewhere so here's an angel from that one bridge in Rome with all the Angels. The one across the Fortress Sant'Angelo. Why? Not entirely sure. I'll figure the symbolism out eventually.